so long farwell

i have been won over by the forces of livejournal

so long blog and you faithful blog readers

i will be here now... new journal

please check me out there...




all i have to say about the theater run of def poetry jam is thank god for beautiful people and the spirit of beauty and all that is good.


mayda's poem about her mother cooking... mami's makin' mambo!.... azucar!

mayda and lemon's group poem about tito puente....


beau... DUDE, IT'S BEAU. ... "my mother's face: AMERICA!" HE'S ONE BAD MUTHA ...SHUT YO MOUF

stacey ann's litany of desire... like hallelujah like hallelujah like amen...

poetry's poem about being michael jackson

"i write america" finale group poem... sounds kinda fishy i know but it was really amazing. tears yo, tears. oh beau, you are so beautiful! i love you.

after the show we went to the after party at zingarin's or something like that and shared a small ass plate of mushroom risotto, meatballs, penne pasta, salad, and some meat sauce pasta with ishle and yvette in the middle of a whirlpool of bodies crashing all around us. we held the plate in the middle of us three each with a fork in each of our hands. straight up socialist style yo! eeuugghh, tibak trainees big up! the food was amazing but really it was the overwhelmingly satisfied fullness of my spirit that was the best part of the show. i did have some qualms about how the show went but hey, let's build instead of destroy. or atleast for this blog. heh.

overall, the real people who herald real love for the people will always shine with the same wonderful luminescence that guides their spirits.



this is version 2.0 because the original version got erased AGAIN when i accidentally closed the window. AAARRRGGGHHH.

IN SHORT, what i said last was that im really excited to get my tattoo now. so much so, i'm dreaming about it. i woke up this morning from my tattoo parlor dream with an intense desire to get my tattoos! eeuuughhh. i want a sarimanok on my right arm and a scarab on my neck. here is the image of the scarab tattoo

i dont have a design for the sarimanok yet but in essence, the bird is depicted as a rooster with colorful feathers, ornately stylised head dress and a fish in its beak or talons. its used by the maranao peoples of lanao del sur in the philippines. a symbol of bravery and power, sari-manok translates to as (royal chicken) originally i wanted a philippines eagle (monkey-eating eagle) but thought it might be too macho. maybe on the other arm for balance? yes? give me your thoughts.

im so excited. its a big decision but i think i've made an excellent choice. i want the piece of art that becomes part of me to be one that resonates with in me forever and the sarimanok i think has always been a symbol that has spoken to me. big decisions. exciting wait.



much props to art concordia and to sergio from S.O.U.L. (school of unity and liberty) for facilitating the T.I.B.A.K. trainings. i find myself at a wonderful new beginning where i am challenged and the person who i thought i was is tested. man, it feels great. CORDILLERAS '03 hopefully. big ups to the seattle folks free, may, chera who are going to the nanay bayan in a couple of days. good luck, blessings with you and light.

i know this sounds vague but i don' t really know what to say. just filled with a lot of emotions: anger, passion, conviction, hope, excitement. thirsty for more.



where do i begin...

another moment has come where i was able to connect with beautiful people. thank you thank you thank you. i am reminded of an age where it was hard to get up from my bed, to face the day be it sun or rain, with a smile. thank you thank you thank you. i am reminded of days when loving was a chore, never saving enough for myself. and i am thankful to the universe, to the goddess, to all forces of love and light that has plucked me out of the mouth of despair and prepared a place of peace and hope for me to settle on. thank you thank you thank you.

maybe hell is not a chasm of endless fire but a journey your spirit/soul takes to all the places you could've been, all the people that could'ved love and be loved in return. forever haunting the joy and sweetnes you robbed yourself from if you let go before it was your time. i reflect upon the tenderness the universe has treated me with and only tears respond.

rodney, anisia, austin, grace, les... if you are reading this now, thank you thank you thank you. you guys gave me a really awesome and fulfilling week. seattle '03!! just wait, i'll be there very very soon.

last week on monday, 5 friends came down from seattle. 5 people i couldn't really call friends before this trip but most definitely now. jollibee's, kpfa, in the pen dance, 3207 telegraph, the 'haight', the 'trooper'... all places we kicked it and laughed and laughed and laughed. eeuuuugghhh. at this time in my life where coming or going is still the big question, i'm happy to say that i've made the decision to move to seattle by july '03, come rain or shine. of course, i want to prepare for that date as much as i can but knowing how this atomic being functions, who knows if i'll have a dime to move with. but i told myself, no matter what my butt will be with maya jojo bobbie jamie geo chera anisia grace rodney austin les zarah and all the rest of the isangmahal kollective.

big step? yes. wise decision? who knows. ask me if it's the direction my heart is pointing me to. yes. of course, duh! i know i'm impulsive and i know i jump into things without thinking but i've actually put in some thought into this move. the only that has stopped me is that i dont have a car and i have a lease till march '03. let's just hope i can find a job by then. jojo says not to worry and somehow i'm not.

CONGRATUALTIONS TO MY ESTOOMACK FAM BOBBY FETT for graduating on saturday from washington state university with a masters in social work. eeeuuuugghhhh. it'll only be a matter of weeks that i'll be able to finally see this bits again after 7 or so months at lauryn hill concert. secondary congrats to all you fools that graduated this year. boo to the government and to bad fathers that prevented me from finishing school... boooo.

always, rodney :)



summer summer summer summertime, ooh summer time- fresh prince & dj jazzy jeff

it's amazing outside in oakland chinatown. dont know how it is where you live but hey, check it out then!
i think i made the mistake in wearing black long sleeves today. should've done the plain white with jeans and sandals. might just shave my head tonight and write more poetry! i may just post some new work here. check in once in a while for it.

yay again to mike for being cool and hippin me to this blog! now go! get sweaty!

OKAY, here we go again. i've been mad at the blog for a couple of days because i wrote a doodoo load of stuff to post as an entry and just as i was going to finish up i got logged off. maybe i'm really mad at dial-up modems. when oh when will i get a dsl at home. oh the agony of the world wild wait. ;)

at any rate, I'M BACK IN FULL EFFECT and ready to blog more than ever. i really think this hobby is getting my writing juices flowing again. i'm happy to report that i've been writing new poems and they're not too shabby. these recent crops of poems have been really great. not in the 'im going to be the next voice of my generation' type stuff but poems that fill ME up. and that's really important to me right now, that i feel satisfied with my own work. feel content from my own work.

so i'll tell you what i tried to blog about. i had a really freaky dream again but this time it was a little violent. in short, i witnessed my grandparents getting sliced in the face with a boxcutter by a pg&e type of white man with a neon orange beard. really disturbing. was afraid to fall back asleep that night. afraid that there would be more violent and perturbing visions. but of course, as with all things in this universe, i rolled out of that cycle of fear into an upward motion of excitement....

i started going to these meetings to help organize with a group of community folks/artivists/artists in a sister collective from los angeles called balagtasan. bc (balagtasan collective) is putting on an event in a couple of weeks and hopefully its a success. and what is that event? a bbq of course! we're really trying to organize a kinder gentler event without the need or use of mass emails. a more personal connection with the folks who come and attend this barkada/kababayan bbq. if you're down and brown, holler at me and let me know if you're interested in hearing more about it. i'd be more than happy to up you on it and invite you. non-pinoys are welcome of course but know this is an effort to organize pinoys. so this event is open to ALL FOLKS but it is a pinoy event. dig it? dug it? good!



apparently, my new hair cut is not a semi-hawk as i called it yesterday because everytime someone saw my hair they enthusiastically claimed it was a kewpie cut. so go check it out and just replace the face of the doll with mine. ta da... that's me. still gorgeous and delicious as ever... the atomicstarfish now has a fin!

i'm considering getting a tattoo. of course, the dilema is the design and where to place this indelible piece of art. i'm thinking something representative of my zodiac signs: double scorpio with a gemini moon. i think im a pretty typical scorpio- romantic, creative, intense, jealous, always looking for the deeper meaning of things, moody, passionate, and of course sexsexsexual. the astrological influence my sign has on my life is uncanny. im am the prototypical scorpio. scary, yes? but thank the stars for my gemini moon. it makes me moody as all hell but i think it balances me out. hmm, i think geminis and scorpios are the best signs in the zodiac. what do you think? lemme know.

on a random note, i finally bought red curtains for my room. and then i realized that i'm not a red person. maybe through the years i've learned to appreciate the beauty of red. the passion and fire of it. but deep inside im just a cool colors kind of scorpip. blues, greens, and the shades of. neutrals: brown and grey. the night i put the curtains up i felt this sort of deep unsettling right in the center of my chest. no, it was not the carls jr super combo meal with criss-cut fries but the awesome powers of color psychology at work. so after realizing that the red curtains were agitating, i returned them and bought calico blue ones with white leaves and stems with moss green flowers. totally feels like me. relax. relax. feel. cool. cool. whew.